I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
