No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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