Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
