Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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