what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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