you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My ass is underappreciated
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
