I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
