i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
