ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize