Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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