drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
