i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize