I didn't shave. On purpose
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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