at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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