If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
