Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
