Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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