and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
