none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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