I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
