i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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