my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
