on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They took my balls.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
