If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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