Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
