What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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