Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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