I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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