And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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