Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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