So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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