Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Buhtt sex?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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