They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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