Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
