Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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