D3 body, D1 cock
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
be right there i have to get my cape
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
