i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
