I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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