After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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