Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
