Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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