Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
