6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
True strength comes from lack of pants
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
