she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
