im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
