i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do vagina's smell?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
