You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
