Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
