Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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