Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just cropdusted the office
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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