Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
