dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
