I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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