I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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