just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
