Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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