You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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