When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
