Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
