so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
