I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
