I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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