my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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